Remember when lockdowns were announced, first in other places, and then here, how the internet came alive with collective singing and baby groups and local trails of handpainted rainbows in windows? How suddenly everyone was doing some version of what they did before, but online, but distant, but different?

And me, I was exhausted, every moment, drained. It had started months ago, with the long family phone calls, begging older family members to stay safe, and I knew it would not end for many months more. All of us, at home, all the time. My husband, working full time. Me and 2 year old twins, all day, every day. They are wonders. They are intense. They are wonders.

I was so tired my back ached, so tired, my whole life ached. It was like I'd been running for months, and somehow gotten nowhere. I'd been running and running, wiped out, and somehow still on mile 1.

And when this project started, I saw the first announcement, and thought, "I cannot."

And I got gentle nudges to consider it, and thought, "I have nothing left."

Of course, I took pictures nearly every day of my children, but those pictures were just artless documents, attempts to share with my American family the endless miles run every day, the changes in the children's speech and faces. The moments they would miss. I didn't think about light or composition, I often took the photos without even looking at my camera. I was too tired to notice nice moments in our daily lives. Too worn out to find the shot that elevated *this* moment to something momentous. Every day, for months, was just about running and running and running. I could not fathom how other parents were managing more. (How did they do it?)

But then.

Over a year after that first lockdown. After over a year of renegotiating what a day looked like. A year of circumscribing a smaller, quieter life, and suddenly.

My wonders, (how did I not see it?), they light up moments every single day, with joy in the softness of flowers, of silky cloths, of wet sand.

And every photo, (how did I not notice?), revealing how I treasure my wonders, the care, the love of the parent who took it.

Twitter: @nijabird