Louise Murphy
Thinking about March 2020 now feels like a weird dream. We had sold our house before Christmas and we knew we’d be living with my in-laws in the country for what should have been ‘a few weeks’ until our new house was ready. In reality, we completed on the first day of lockdown and lived with our family for over five months. We had already moved in with them the week before, but driving back to empty and clean the house that day was just eerily quiet and very weird. All the tips and charity shops were shut, we had to leave the key in the garden as the estate agents were closed. Driving away from the town to my in-laws house in the country felt like we were going into exile. In some ways, it was idyllic, we were with family, my son could see his grandparents every day, we had help with childcare, we had lots of outdoor space and the weather was beautiful… we felt very lucky not to be trapped in our tiny terrace in the middle of town. But I missed my parents desperately and our son missed our old house and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t go to pre-school and see his friends any more. He would build structures out of his toys to ‘live’ in. I had bought a new iPad and started learning Procreate to take my mind off things. Using the photos I’d taken on walks, I created photo collages to try and re-create our odd existence, images were placed upside down and layered on top of each other.
As things eased, life became easier but the overall sense of dread and waiting to hear whether we could move to our new house took its toll. We finally moved at the end of August and my son started school in reception. For a few months, everything felt fairly normal. We loved the house and felt very relived to finally be settled. Even the second lockdown was more of an inconvenience, as our son carried on going to school and I was working from home. But after Christmas, things really changed.
It was our first proper experience of home schooling and combined with not being able to see family, it was tough. I struggled to get my son to focus on the work and the school’s expectations were pretty high. Some days went well, but other days my partner had to take over as soon as he got home from work. I had to try and work when I could so it felt like an endless cycle of my job and childcare, with walks chucked in. The weather was freezing and although the first time it snowed was fun, by the third or fourth time, the novelty had truly worn off. Some days I struggled to keep my temper and felt terrible, we just didn’t seem to get a break from each other. It felt as though life had flatlined and there was no enrichment any more, nothing to look forward through the bleak days of January and February. I have always taken photos, but now my phone’s camera roll was full off home schooling ‘evidence’ for school. I found it really hard to be creative, I felt so worn down by everything. Using my DSLR, I was able to start taking photos of things that interested me and it helped me view our daily life in a new way, even though our world had shrunk to our house and garden. Towards the end of homeschooling, my partner was furloughed, after working through every lockdown. It gave us all a break and probably helped save my sanity!
As things begin to return to normal, we’re finally able to have play dates and meet other parents, plus see our families again. We feel very lucky not to have caught Covid and now most people in our family have been vaccinated, but we’re very aware it could all stop again. It feels like we might not be out of the woods yet and I worry about what might be in store next winter.
